Beware: it's bitchin' time.
For all you that don't own a home and your friends/family keep telling you how great it is? DON'T BELIEVE THEM. What's so great about spending every freaking penny you earn on upkeep?
Let's start with the outside:
Lawn. You can spend 3 hours on a Saturday or Sunday EVERY freaking week during the 100 degree summer days trying to edge, weed, and mow your lawn. Or, you can spend $25/week for five guys to come in and make it look better than you ever could. It takes them 15 minutes. Damn it.
Pool. Yes, it's so awesome that I have a pool in my backyard. Again, you can spend every weekend cleaning this pool and trying to figure out what chemicals you need to add and what the heck a pH level even is...or, you can spend $150/month for someone to come out to clean and put in the proper chemicals for you. Of course, if it rains, the pool is now dirty with leaves and dirt. Vinnie, the vacuum, doesn't seem to work during those times, either.
Trees. Who the hell puts a Crape Myrtle near a pool? And, what is the point of an Oleander tree? To provide breeding grounds for wasp nests? $250 to a tree company to get those cut down. Oh, but wait! They can't grind the stumps because they are too close to the fence and the roots may break the fence if they try to pull them up. So, what happens? The trees keep coming back and the lawn guys have to keep cutting them down, along with trimming the other trees and bushes in the backyard....for a price, of course.
Wasps. I hate them and don't even know why they are on this earth. To get on my nerves? Yes.
Let's go inside:
Bugs. How disgusting are cockroaches? I freak if I see one. Boo, on the other hand, wants to chase and play with them. Let me tell you non-homeowners something. You have to get a dang service to come out and spray your house for bugs on a consistent basis. Again, something nobody told me.
Plumbing. Remember in apartments when something clogged or quit working? You could just call you handy apartment landlord and they'd send someone up to fix it. Now? You have to call around and see who can get out the quickest and do bids for big items. Who wants to do all that? And, how do you know if the guy is legit?
Finally, Air-conditioning. Ever have to sleep in a house when the a/c is out or frozen? That was me, last night. M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E. (You can see where this blog is coming from now, right?) Three a/c quotes and I'm at $6,000 for a new one. Are you kidding me? Who has $6,000 just sitting around ready to give away? I could scream right now.
Also, home warranties SUCK. They are useless and I wouldn't recommend them. They don't cover anything!! Mine says that the "noise" from my compressor unit outside is just noise and not something broken. Hello - it sounds like a plane is taking off outside my window when it's on. That can't be normal.
Now, don't talk to me about "tax benefits". I haven't seen any. Yes, I got about $3,000 back last year...know where it went? The damn house. "Equity" is another argument...whatever. Am I getting anything out of that right now? NO! I don't see it and I'm mad right now so I don't want to hear it!
If you read all the way to the bottom of this post, thanks. I am extremely frustrated right now and could kick some ass (really just the home warranty people).
For all you that don't own a home and your friends/family keep telling you how great it is? DON'T BELIEVE THEM. What's so great about spending every freaking penny you earn on upkeep?
Let's start with the outside:
Lawn. You can spend 3 hours on a Saturday or Sunday EVERY freaking week during the 100 degree summer days trying to edge, weed, and mow your lawn. Or, you can spend $25/week for five guys to come in and make it look better than you ever could. It takes them 15 minutes. Damn it.
Pool. Yes, it's so awesome that I have a pool in my backyard. Again, you can spend every weekend cleaning this pool and trying to figure out what chemicals you need to add and what the heck a pH level even is...or, you can spend $150/month for someone to come out to clean and put in the proper chemicals for you. Of course, if it rains, the pool is now dirty with leaves and dirt. Vinnie, the vacuum, doesn't seem to work during those times, either.
Trees. Who the hell puts a Crape Myrtle near a pool? And, what is the point of an Oleander tree? To provide breeding grounds for wasp nests? $250 to a tree company to get those cut down. Oh, but wait! They can't grind the stumps because they are too close to the fence and the roots may break the fence if they try to pull them up. So, what happens? The trees keep coming back and the lawn guys have to keep cutting them down, along with trimming the other trees and bushes in the backyard....for a price, of course.
Wasps. I hate them and don't even know why they are on this earth. To get on my nerves? Yes.
Let's go inside:
Bugs. How disgusting are cockroaches? I freak if I see one. Boo, on the other hand, wants to chase and play with them. Let me tell you non-homeowners something. You have to get a dang service to come out and spray your house for bugs on a consistent basis. Again, something nobody told me.
Plumbing. Remember in apartments when something clogged or quit working? You could just call you handy apartment landlord and they'd send someone up to fix it. Now? You have to call around and see who can get out the quickest and do bids for big items. Who wants to do all that? And, how do you know if the guy is legit?
Finally, Air-conditioning. Ever have to sleep in a house when the a/c is out or frozen? That was me, last night. M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E. (You can see where this blog is coming from now, right?) Three a/c quotes and I'm at $6,000 for a new one. Are you kidding me? Who has $6,000 just sitting around ready to give away? I could scream right now.
Also, home warranties SUCK. They are useless and I wouldn't recommend them. They don't cover anything!! Mine says that the "noise" from my compressor unit outside is just noise and not something broken. Hello - it sounds like a plane is taking off outside my window when it's on. That can't be normal.
Now, don't talk to me about "tax benefits". I haven't seen any. Yes, I got about $3,000 back last year...know where it went? The damn house. "Equity" is another argument...whatever. Am I getting anything out of that right now? NO! I don't see it and I'm mad right now so I don't want to hear it!
If you read all the way to the bottom of this post, thanks. I am extremely frustrated right now and could kick some ass (really just the home warranty people).
6 comments:
I totally agree. We have almost all the same issues and I think we have foundation in the future...homeownership SUCKS most of the time. Kick some ass, I'll back you up and tell the cops you were with me, getting a pedicure of course :)
You are fussy! But I totally relate. Stupid old houses. Does this happen if you have a brand new house in Frisco?
That's why you should just be friends with people who own pools. It works for me. :)
I agree, I just let my lawn look like crap...although I am sure our neighbors hate us.
If you don't have one, I highly recommend a home warranty from American Home Shield...it has saved me SO much money
Ahhhh....sounds like you need a vaca in Denver. No bugs here sister! WHy don't you and Tom get on a plane and visit?
Yeah I know what you mean. We have a new house in a new neighborhood, so our first year we saw a few mice in our garage. Donnie and I had to spend a few hundred dollars to have the pest people come out.
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